our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
