I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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