i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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