I should be sponsored by Trojan
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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