I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
