Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
