I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
