sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize