My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
