is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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