and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
