the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
