I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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