dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
These tits shall not be calmed
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
