It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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