You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
