he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
