A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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