Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
