The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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