There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
send nudes
from the living room?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize