If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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