We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
