I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
