Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
