let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he thought i was a dude.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
