xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We talked him into tasing himself.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize