READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
