yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
