he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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