I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize