First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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