Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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