I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
