I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
