The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
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