Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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