worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I supernannyed him into submission
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
