No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
