Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
