Already got asked if we're dating
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
