Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i think i just lost a toe
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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