yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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