you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
