How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Your penis caused this!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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