speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
