I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
