My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
