i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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