I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
