Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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