You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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