people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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