She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
