I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
