I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
