but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
