Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
