im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
