dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How external is "for external use only"?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I woke up under a house in Key West
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
