I'm jealous of your bromance
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize