they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
