just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize