I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
