Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
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